L'Amour De Ma Vie

Ok first week of work is almost over and it's a long weekend due to Youth Day so everything's good. I've been going from school to school for interviews. Yup, I'm taking the first step to getting a transfer out of this school. Though the new school I eventually end up with may not be ideal, at least it's a change. A change that I so badly need.

Anyway, finally got myself a new camera! Yup, I used my LDS claim and got myself a red 10 megapixel Nikon camera. Sweet.

As for the kids, they're doing alright. Fuddin went back to school after a long break. He's coping well and yesterday, for the very first time, he sat on the bus! Woohoo! Yup, what comes naturally for other people may not come naturally to him so curse those people who are so dumb and ignorant that they actually label kids like him as naughty or out of control. There's a term for it, IDIOTS! It's called Autism...duh? Just because you're dumb doesn't mean everyone has to be as dumb as you. Haha!

Ok, ok...I'll stop being a bitch. Anyway, my 2 darlings have been the "victims" of my new camera (but of course).




All in all, it's been quite a shitty week, very much like any other week. Still, this is life so I try and make do. I still remember to count my blessings though to remind myself that there are many others whose lives are so much shittier than I am. Haha.

I think I'm gonna write a book. I'll name it..."Life's a bitch, so am I." Hehe :)

That's it! I am going to buy a new digi-cam. For months, I've been living on my camera phone (which is slow and fuzzy at times) and I've been alright till I realized I've lost the cable to connect the phone to my laptop! Urgh! So I'm going to go out and buy a camera today, charge it and pay the bill when I get my money back through my LDS claim. So there. Decision made.

Anyway, he's back. Things are good. Been spending some quality time together. He hasn't been in the pink of health though (jet lag, temperature change, etc.) so I hope he'll be alright soon. I'm glad he's home though. Life just didn't seem complete without him.

Anyway, as I was pretty free last week, I managed to meet up with some friends. First I had lunch with Danyya, my ex student who is now in Republic Poly. It was nice to catch up with her and I do wish her all the best at her new school. Then I met up with Caroline, my dear misunderstood friend. Haha! She's my kind of girl... in your face and intelligent in a cryptic kind of way. Anyway, it was good talking i.e bitching to her...just being myself and not having to be what others expect me to be. All the best Carol...you know I'm here if you need a friend.

Father's Day this Sunday. Gonna get some nice food for Dad. He's a really good Daddy. When he was young, he worked a lot and I hardly saw him but now that he's living with me and helping me to take care of my kids, I have gotten to know him much better. He's a really selfless and hardworking man. He lives his simple life and tries to stay positive despite difficulties... and he never fails to help his children in any way he can. I don't say it but I Love You Daddy!

As for Ayra, I have no doubt that she adores her Dad. They have a really close father-daughter relationship but at the same time, she's pretty afraid of him (when she's been naughty). I'm pretty sure they'll stay close for life and I'm glad. As for Fuddin, his Abah is his "punching bag". I know it's An's way to make up for the absence of oral communication between them. I know that An is a great dad...well, he tries. For that, I love him and so do the kids. Happy Father's Day An.

One more week of holidays but I have to work every weekday next week except for Monday so effectively, my holidays are over! Unless the government decides to extend the holidays due to the H1N1 flu scare. Ermm..... we'll see.

Alright, gonna go off soon. Gonna bring Ayra to the dentist.

I'm husbandless! No la, not in that way. Hubby's gone for a little mini pilgrimage trip with his mom and eldest sis. I'm missing him already but I won't over-react. Time for some private time and learning to be more independent. They say you never realize what you have until they're gone...yeah, this is a good exercise in reminding me that despite my fiercely independent nature, I am still very much dependent on Roshan emotionally. Despite our differences, he still is my very best friend; one who provides me constant companion and gives me unconditional love. While we may never see eye to eye on everything, we are both willing to compromise (we're still trying, hehe). Somehow, I am confident that our love and friendship will transcend boundaries (indeed it has). While I have seen many of my friendships either soured or just fade with time (sadly), this is one relationship that I can count on and willing to work on. All I know is that he will never desert me; especially in my darkest hours.




Ok, enough mushy stuff. Anyway, I have a piece of fabulous news. The dreaded D&D camp is like oh-so-over. No more teaching for 3 full weeks! Woohoo! My "professionalism" as a teacher has been questioned because I chose to stay home and take care of my sick child one of those days I'm expected to teach three 1 and a 1/2 hours lessons during the school holidays. So I'm not ready to hold a position of authority. So what?. Take your position of authority and stick it up your ass. I don't want it. I don't need it. Get someone else. I don't give a damn. I'm out of this shit hole soon anyway. I've spent almost 10 years here...and I'm not gonna spend another 10. Still you may ask, where am I now? Ironically, I am at work. Hehe. I still have my files to clear and other people's files to check. Bummer. Own time, own target though so no (well not so much) pressure. Whatever. I don't care. Just leave me alone. Don't talk to me. Don't say hi. Don't tell me what to do. Don't pretend that you care. You don't own me. You are a waste of my time. WTF. Ok, enough self-indulgence. Now, everyone will know I'm schizophrenic. Back to reality where I'm expected to smile and be nice... like I told my student Zaki..."The reality is, I'm not nice!" But then, that's not totally true. I'm only nice to people who are nice to me. I'm not dumb. I can see through right through some people. The good thing is, I don't really care anymore.

I miss my friend Caroline. We had such great conversations. Together, we make up the most cynical and bitter people I've ever came across. Totally cool.

I'm gonna go. It's not fun being cynical and bitter alone. Just remember, sacrifice usually leads to resentment.

Here's me and my baby. So what if I over indulge. It is my blog. Haha! By the way, I'm not deranged, just creatively disturbed. So there.

We're a week into the June school holidays and guess what? I have been made to work till 5pm almost every day. My point? I'm not getting my well deserved break! I want to spend quality time with my babies! Yeah, I'm whining...

Anyway, I have new photos of my boy, courtesy of Ms June, his very patient and concerned teacher. Haha...I couldn't help laughing at some of the pics. It has always been difficult to take photographs of Fuddin coz he refuses to sit still long enoughfor me to get a good photo. Either that, or he refuses to look at the camera and smile. Thus I'm grateful for any photos featuring my little star, Fuddin.



He's being rather grumpy lately. I guess its the lack of sleep or rather his habit of staying up during the night and only falling asleep as dawn creeps in. Very bad...but it's difficult to get him to regularize his sleeping hours coz he's so unpredictable. At times, he sleeps through the night and at other times, he refuses to go to sleep even after much effort on our part (patting mostly). Anyway, Grandpa says he misses school. Haha... surprising but true. Whenever Grandad brings him to the shops or or to fetch Ayra from the schoolbus, he will insist that my dad brings him to the bus pick up location. Poor Fuddin... well, I just hpe he doesn't forget school (and the routine of taking the school bus). I've even suggested the idea to my mom to dress him up in his school uniform once in a while. Mom didn't think it's necessary to do so I'm just crossing my fingers and hoping for the best.

Anyway, my other baby is doing okay I guess. Last night I happened to see her two adult teeth up close and to my horror, saw it was dirty. I promptly brought her to the bathroom where I gave her a revision lesson on how to brush her teeth. Apparently, according to the Grandparents, she's been a lazy little girl when it comes to brushing her teeth. Well, that's not going to be the case anymore.

As for An, he's through with his exams. He had a terrible week studying! Haha... it was kinda fun seeing him so tortured... well, not fun but amusing actually. Anyway, he's done with that. We're all hoping he's gonna get okay results.

Okay peeps...I gotta run. I still have lessons lessons later...woohoo....do forgive me for my enthusiasm :P

You think we can probably win a mother-daughter lookalike competition?

Yes, it was low key. No big party, no piniata, no flowery dress (better not be...haha). In true simple Fuddin style, we packed a Nemo cake to school (it was supposed to be an Elmo cake but that's another story) to share with his schoolmates. On his birthday, his cousins came over to pass him his gifts and we bought him his favorite food in the whole world...ice cream!!! We then brought him to his favorite hangout - the happening void deck where the whole family proceeded to have a yakult and crackers party. Woohoo! Fuddin was as pleased as can be.

Yes, we may sound like cheap skate parents but we know our son the best and this is the kind of celebration he wants. And before he went to bed, I sat him down, looked him in the eye and told him that he is the most beautiful child to me and that he must never worry because Mommy will always be there to take care and love him. It didn't matter that he didn't understand me. Nothing matters coz no matter how difficult he is, he is mine and to hell to people who don't understand.

Happy Birthday Syarifuddin. You are the love of my life.

Fiza's wedding on Saturday. It was a nice wedding and she looked absolutely gorgeous. I think she'll be happy with the wedding. Last I heard, she's enjoying married life. Haha!

Ayra was one of the flower girls. She was pretty excited. My only complain? I didn't get to taste the cake!!!



No matter, dear Arnie will be baking the same ones and bringing some to school on Wed. Woohoo.

Yeah...that was my initial reaction. This was way back in secondary school. Can you spot me? Haha...Those were the days......

Hmmm, weird. I've been accused of having no common sense. Maybe I don't. While I don't give give a damn what the younger sibling thinks, I do care about the older one. Anyway, I did what I was supposed to do and settled things with the older sibling.

Whatever it is, while it's fine to be high and mighty and to attack an adult (yeah maybe I deserve it), it's way mean and lame to criticize my autistic son. Way lame.